Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I think that... wait. What?

Since the thyroidectomy, I've been taking synthetic thyroid hormone. I think my levels are off and they're going to have to adjust my meds soon. Some days are fine. Some days are hard. Most nights are pretty rough. I'm exhausted. 

I don't just mean tired. This is something altogether different from any kind of fatigue I've experienced before. I'm beat. And there's no amount of coffee or scary movies that can wake me up. I can fall asleep standing up... not that I can stand up for long anyway. My mind wanders and I find myself writing more and more things down to keep track of them. 

Here's where I would create an endearing graphic with an exhaustion scale on it. I would. But I'm too darn tired. Just pretend you saw a colorful fatigue scale with "staying up past my bedtime" at the bottom, "being a college student" and "having a newborn" in the middle, and "thyroid meds are off" WAAAAAAY at the top. Also, pretend there was a cute bear demonstrating those levels. 

It was only a year ago that I was working full time, going to night school, making cakes, and being a wife and mother. How? How did I do that?

I've cut back on the number of cake orders I'm accepting. I'm deliberately reserving a weekend a month with no cakes so that we can do family stuff. The cake calendar still looks mighty busy in the next few months, though. I hope I can pull everything off. 

In five days, I'll go talk to the endocrinologist about radiation (hopefully not) and my meds. I think I could sleep until then. 


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