In related news, getting diagnosed with cancer, even lame thyroid cancer, is oddly liberating. The C word brought my priorities into sharp focus and my mind seems to filter out the unimportant things. But you know what my mind doesn't always filter?
Between being a last year teacher and being in cancer testing and treatment for the entire school year so far, I've not always filtered my thoughts as well as I should. Sometimes I wonder if I should be more careful... But then I remember that I think I'm pretty hilarious and move on.
So I've been thinking about the upcoming visit by the state monitors to our school. Every public school teacher knows what this entails. SACs or Advanced Ed or Dance Puppets!... whatever you want to call it... it's stressful. Everybody wants their school to shine when The Visitors come for their inspection. But here's the thing... I'm not stressing. Maybe it's the cancer, maybe it's the last year mentality, maybe the cancer has spread to my brain and taken out my give-a-flip. Whatever. I'm not worrying about it. But I have been thinking about it. And I have been preparing for it. Here is my
Top Ten List of Things I May or May Not Have Done
to Prepare for This Week's State Inspection:
10. Had some of my students' most impressive referrals matted and framed. Because we need things to look nice and professional. It's all about the finishing touches, people.
9. Enhanced the "artistic" etchings in my classroom furniture by rubbing liquid paper into them.
8. Captured some of the larger spiders that live behind the window frame in my classroom (Aragog!) and provided them with a new, circus-themed terrarium home.
6. Harnessed my 7th graders new-found protractor skills to rotate all the posters in my classroom twelve degrees.
5. Replaced the terms on my Word Wall with the filthiest German profanities I could find. Because who's going to admit that they know those words? That's right. If you call me out for that, you're just telling on yourself. Geschenkartikel!
4. Planned a Kevin Bacon movie marathon. You know, for science. Because these kids need to be prepared for the real world. Huh. Maybe I should switch that to a John Hughes movie marathon...
3. Upon hearing that we should absolutely not, under any circumstances, wear jeans on Tuesday, I immediately ordered some new clothes. Overalls are definitely NOT jeans.
2. Told my students (yes, MY students) that there is an upcoming surprise intruder drill and, if they see any strangers enter our classroom, they are to immediately begin throwing anything they can find at the intruders. And aim for the head. Safety first, kids.
1. Created this list.
Hey, here's hoping everyone enjoys this week at your job as much as I may or may not enjoy mine.
Admit it, you totally googled that German word.