Tuesday, September 23, 2014

"Your Kids Are a Trip"

You've probably never had the privilege of taking my children to get their flu vaccines. That's ok, you can go next year. Here's how it works:

My kids start asking for their flu vaccines around the end of July.


They love it. Partly because they can get nasal vaccines at Target and partly because the pharmacists give them each a bag with a wad of candy afterwards. Because nothing stops flu germs like the beetus, I guess. Once the flu shot signs go up in stores, I can't put them off anymore. The kids know flu vaccines are available and it's time.

Today was the big day. Like all moms, I spent the afternoon saying things like, "If you don't calm down, I'm not going to take you to get your vaccination." Eventually, the last cake was picked up this afternoon and it was time to head to Target for Operation Flu Prevention.

Why do flu shots have so much paperwork? Do they really need to know that my eight year-old son is not pregnant? And get me started on the "Have you or anyone close to you ever been treated for cancer?" question. Things are more complicated when your kids can read. But eventually the paperwork was handled and the vaccines paid for.

The girl went first. Please note the look of raw fear on her face:

Flu sniff:

Then the boy. Again, please observe the terror:

The nice pharmacist tried to make small talk with the boy. It's probably a habit she's adopted to try and allay kids' fears. I would assume she's used to kids who are more nervous that thrilled about being there.
"Who's that on your shirt?"
"That's my big brother,"
"Darth Vader is your big brother?"
At this point she looked at me, like I was going to correct him. Boy, was she disappointed.

Flu sniff:

Then I got a quick shot. During my shot, the pharmacist remarked that my kids "are a trip". Seems she's never seen any children enjoy their vaccinations quite like mine.

Also, for posterity, when she stuck the needle in my arm, at that exact instant, I got a PM on my phone. So, she stuck the needle in and "ding!".
"What was that?"
"It means you put the shot in right. Doesn't everybody's arm do that?"

After that, I'm pretty sure they were glad to see us leave. Sucks for them, though, because I have to go back tomorrow to get my eye drops.

Anyway, to the victors go the spoils:

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