Sunday, July 8, 2012

It's better that I wasn't there

My daughter is a beast.

Today, SuperHusband took our four year-old daughter to the doctor. I stayed home with the boy and worked on a cake.

Now, I wasn't there. But here's my version of how I think the doctor visit went based on witness testimony:

SH: "My daughter has an ear infection."
Nurse: "Oh, no! Poor baby."
SH: "She threw up in the car yesterday."
Nurse: "Uh huh. Any fever?"
SH: "No."
<Nurse checks Bug's temp: 98 degrees>
Nurse: "Any pain?"
SH: "Bug, what hurts?"
Bug: "Nothing."
Nurse: "Does your head hurt?"
Bug: "No."
Nurse: "Do your ears hurt?"
Bug: "No."
Nurse: "Does your throat hurt?"
Bug: "No!" (she's easily frustrated by people who don't catch on)
Nurse: "Do you feel sick?"
Bug: "No."
Nurse: (looks skeptically at SuperHusband)
SH: "She has an ear infection."
Nurse: "Uh huh. The doctor will be with you shortly."

<Doctor enters room>
Dr: "What going on in here?"
SH: "My daughter has an ear infection."
Dr: "Oh, no! Poor baby."
SH: "She threw up in the car yesterday. And she asked us to turn the music up."
Dr: "Uh huh. Any fever?"
SH: "No."
<Dr checks chart, sees 98 degrees>
Dr: "Any pain?"
Bug: "No."
Dr: "Do you feel sick?"
Bug: "No."
Dr: "Any loss of appetite?"
SH: "No."
Dr: "Any loss of energy?"
SH: "No."
Dr: "Any history of motion sickness?"
SH: "Yes."
Dr: (looks skeptically at SuperHusband)
SH: "She has an ear infection."

At this point, I'm sure the doctor was wondering who the real patient was. Or maybe he thought he was being Punk'd.

However, to his immense credit, he did not call the authorities nor mental health to check out SuperHusband (that we know of). He did check Bug's ears. At that point I like to imagine that the trendy, young doctor couldn't help but exclaim, "TARNATION!"

He's the only one I know who says, "Tarnation!"
And that Burberry scarf just tumbled right off his shoulders as he stumbled back in awestruck amazement. In my head, he was wearing a scarf despite the 100 degree weather because it makes it funnier that the scarf falls off at this point in the story.

She has an ear infection.

A double, actually, but he was only able to tell that after they extracted a blockage the size of a peanut M&M from the left ear.

You're Welcome

Bug ended up getting great care from that doctor. And four princess stickers which, you know, is the mark of a truly gifted healer to a four year-old.

I wish I could tell you that she's feeling better, but she was never feeling bad, so there's not much of a difference to look for.

It's nice when your parental instincts prove true despite all objective evidence.

And, I also think it's pretty awesome that SuperHusband and I have the moves so well rehearsed that, when Bug or Boo get sick in the car, we can get the kid out, their clothes changed, and everything cleaned up without any kind of discussion or hesitation. It's like a choreographed dance now. And, as gross as it is, it's one of the best parts of being married.


  1. I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. She's a very new mom (has a 2 month old) and was questioning something the doctor had told her. I said she could go to 5 different doctors and get 5 different opinions. She needs to trust her instincts. God sent that baby to her and also will give her the instincts she needs to care for her!

    1. That's very true. But it takes a while to build up the mom-confidence that is sometimes necessary to back up your mom-instinct.